I love Oreos.
Sneezing is so awkward. Ok, so the actual sneeze itself isn’t so bad (unless you have a really stupid sounding sneeze or you tend to spew boogers everywhere) but the pre-sneeze anticipation always ends up being kind of wonky. Everyone has their own distinct pre-sneeze facial expressions and they’re all ridiculous. Mine involves my mouth sort of hanging half open with my eyes all...
Today I feel like an 85 year old woman. Everything hurts. That’s what happens when you spend five hours at Ikea and another five hours sitting on your floor putting together furniture from Ikea. Don’t. Go. To. Ikea. Happy Monday!
According to Wikipedia, Zumba is defined as, “a Latin-inspired dance fitness program created by dancer and choreographer Alberto “Beto” Perez in Colombia during the 1990s.” According to me, Zumba is defined as, “something else I can not do.” Zumba is supposed to be one of those gym classes where people are like, “Gosh, it’s so much fun, I...
Everyday we are faced with dilemmas. To be or not to be, yadda yadda yadda. Well, I feel compelled to share one such dilemma that I happened to face today. Whilst walking down the street I noticed something about the woman in front of me. She was rocking a small red price sticker smack dab in the middle of her back. It was just hanging out there, completely unbeknownst to this woman/victim of red...
During my run this morning I got to thinking about…running. It’s actually bizarre to me, this whole concept of running for recreation. Back in the day people ran for survival; the cavemen didn’t run just to burn a few calories. No siree, they ran to get the fuck away from the giant badgers! Or whatever it was that hunted them… Who woulda thunk it?! Running merely for the...
Potatoes and Mayonnaise
It’s strange what moments in life our brains choose to store into our memories; seemingly inconsequential events turn into defining moments when we later look back amongst the vast chain of daily occurrences known as life. For me, one such defining life moment happened to involve potatoes and mayonnaise. Well, it was actually two food related incidents that throughout the years have...
More Things I'm Good At
I thought of two more items to add to my list of things I’m good at. The new additions to the list are in bold because that seemed appropriate. 1. Slipping through doors while they are closing 2. Polishing my own nails 3. Cutting the necks off t-shirts 4. Getting a good ratio between peanut butter and jelly on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 5. Getting a good ratio of milk to cereal in...
Things I'm Good At
In my seemingly never ending quest to become a more positive person, I have begun to compile a list of things that I’m good at. It is not very long. This is it at the moment; I hope to continue finding things to add: 1. Slipping through doors while they are closing 2. Polishing my own nails 3. Cutting the necks off t-shirts 4. Getting a good ratio between peanut butter and jelly on peanut...
I’m one of those people who nearly always remembers their dreams. Word on the street is that when you remember your dream you weren’t in REM sleep and basically didn’t get as deep a sleep as when you don’t remember your dream. Or something like that. Since I can’t recall the last time I didn’t remember a dream, I basically never get my true deep sleep on, which...
Blog Entry, The First
So, this is my first foray into the blog world and to be perfectly honest, I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do. Therefore, I figured I would just start off by doing one of my favorite things - talking about myself! My name is Jordan Siegel and I just graduated from NYU with a degree in dramatic literature. My ultimate goal in life is to be Tina Fey. I look really bad with...